


Searching for Gravity

by Jennrosee



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-31
Updated: 2012-05-31
Packaged: 2017-11-06 11:23:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/418335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jennrosee/pseuds/Jennrosee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If your destiny was denied to you, who would you be? What would you become? Eighteen years after her birth, eighteen years after he ran away, will Jake and Renesmee finally find what they've been searching for?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Searching for Gravity

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to my awesome prereader Isecretlyliketwilight, and Madmum and AnthroBug over at PTB for their beta expertise!

**~Renesmee~**

To a family of vampires, time is meaningless. Time passes, the world changes, but we stay the same.

To humans, the ticking of a clock is a sound that means so much. _Tick_. Another second of life passes. _Tick_. Another second of life wasted. _Tick_. Another second closer to death. But to us, the ticking of a clock is just another sound that melts into the cacophony of sounds that over time we've learned how to block out.

Well, that is unless we're sitting in the school's office, waiting for the principal to call us in. I swear that room had the loudest ticking clock I'd ever heard!

We sat in the waiting room, my parents on either side of me while we waited for Principal Robarts to get off the phone with our "father," waiting to hear what the punishment was this time. Detention? Suspension? Another expulsion? It would be my second expulsion if that was the case.

My real father pinched the bridge of his nose while my mother sat motionless, staring at the clock. The irony of sitting between my parents in the principal's office while we waited for our punishment did not escape me, and I snorted back a laugh.

"Will you be serious for once, Renesmee?" my father whispered.

I sighed and tapped my fingernails on the wooden arms of my chair. "Stop it!" my mother hissed as her icy hand gripped mine.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

Mrs. Carson looked over at me from the reception desk with disapproval. I hadn't actually meant for it to happen the way it had. Well, maybe I had, but the kid actually deserved a lot more than what he got.

"Renesmee, what exactly happened that caused all of this?" my mother asked. Knowing my father was already privy to the event in my mind, I put my hand on top of hers and showed her.

_"Hey, Renesmee."_

_Crap. Kevin Cooper._

_"How's it going, Kevin?" I reply, slamming my locker shut. I turn to head off toward my next class when he puts his arm up against the locker, blocking my way. I swear the kid has a death wish._

_"I need to get to class, Kevin."_

_"Skip it."_

_"Can't. Test today."_

_"Go out with me."_

_"No."_

_"Come on, Renesmee," he says, pulling on one of my curls._

_"Oh, Kevin, while your charm is just so alluring, and though most girls could never say no to your testosterone-fueled, football-playing, caveman ways, I can, so no."_

_"You know, Renesmee, most girls would kill to go out with me. Consider yourself lucky I chose you."_

_Wow, this kid is a total douche. "Well, Kevin, that's where you're mistaken. I'm not most girls. Sorry," I say as I shrug, duck under his arm, and head off to class._

The door to Mr. Robarts' office opened and the stocky, balding man looked over at the three of us. "Edward, Isabella, the two of you are free to return to class. Mrs. Carson will give you a late pass. Renesmee, will you come into my office, please."

Cutting off my replay of the event to my mother, I sighed, let go of her hand, and quickly stood to meet my fate. Previous experience had taught me that minor infractions could be dealt with at the front desk, but when the principal actually called you in to his office…well, that was bad. I plopped down in a chair in front of his desk as he closed the door behind him and sat down.

"Renesmee, as you know, we have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to violence of any kind."

Yep. I was getting expelled.

"However, due to the extenuating circumstances and several witnesses who came forward in your defense, I have decided to be lenient with you. You won't be expelled, but you will be suspended for a period of two weeks, following which you will serve Saturday detentions for the remainder of the school year."

"But that's three months!" I shrieked.

"Renesmee, you assaulted another student. He had to be taken to the hospital, and according to your father, you broke his hand. Now, Mr. Cooper is being expelled for his actions; consider yourself extremely lucky that you're not. Your suspension is effective immediately. Since it's last period, you can wait in the sitting room until one of your siblings comes to retrieve you."

I walked back into the waiting room and sat in a chair. Just great! The two weeks off I could live with – hell, it'd be like a vacation – but three months of Saturdays spent here? Maybe Carlisle could get me out of it; he could tell them I'd volunteer at the hospital or something. Damn, this sucked ass! I ran the replay of the events over and over through my head to try to block out the sound of the clock.

_"How do you think you did on the test, Renesmee?"_

_"Oh, I don't know, Bella. It was really tough," I say, playing along with our usual charade, loud enough so the students walking to their next classes can hear us._

_"Oh, there's Edward," she says as he comes around the corner at the other end of the hall. "Why does he look so angry?"_

_"Somebody must have had a naughty thought about one of us," I joke as Bella rushes ahead to meet him. Then, I feel someone wrap his arm around my chest, pulling me back into him._

_"Hey, Cullen. I think you're mistaken," Kevin whispers. "I don't take no for an answer."_

I was never really in any danger. I could have taken the guy at any moment, and I was fully prepared to use my wit to put him in his place, until I felt his hand move along the hem of my skirt, brushing against the inside of my thigh. Next thing I knew, I was crushing his hand as I flipped him over my shoulder and onto his back. Silence echoed through the halls as students stopped to witness the scene, and it was finally broken when the shock wore off and Kevin began screaming as he felt the pain in his crushed hand. I was still holding onto him when my parents rushed over, and a teacher came out of his class to see the three of us surrounding Kevin and ordered us all to the principal's office before anybody could explain. The look on my father's face when all three of us were sent to the principal's office was almost worth it. Almost.

I glanced at the clock and saw there were only three minutes left until last period ended. I wondered which one of my family members would be the lucky one who got to rescue me from the torment of that damn school office clock. _Please don't be Emmett. Please don't be Emmett. Aww, crap! It's Emmett._

"Well, look who I found in the principal's office," the overgrown lout of a vampire bellowed as he swung open the door to the office. "Surprise seeing you here! Good afternoon, Mrs. Carson. How are you on this fine day?" Emmett asked, strolling over and leaning on the reception desk, dazzling the old woman behind it.

"Why, I'm just fine, Emmett. How are you today?" Mrs. Carson replied.

"I'm just great, but I hear my little sister here has gotten herself into some trouble," Emmett said. "Renesmee, what are we going to do with you? Mother is going to be so disappointed. I truly hope she hasn't been too much trouble for you this afternoon, Mrs. Carson. Teenagers can be so ungrateful."

"It's because everything is handed to them these days, Emmett. They don't know what it's like to have to work for things," Mrs. Carson snipped as she looked over at me.

Having heard enough, I snatched my book bag off of the floor and charged out the door.

"Oh, wait up, Renesmee! I was just messing with you!" Emmett yelled as he chased after me.

"Whatever, Emmett. I just want to go home." I saw the rest of my family waiting by their cars as I stormed out of the building with Emmett close on my heels.

"Renesmee -" my father started.

_I don't want to talk about it._ I seethed. What did that old witch of a woman know about me anyway? Absolutely nothing. I jumped into the Volvo, slammed the door, and focused on keeping my mind dark in order to keep my father out the entire way home.

After school was the same story every day. We'd go home and all of the coupled Cullens would disappear for a few hours. If Carlisle was at work, then Esme would spend time with me, but the majority of my afternoons were spent alone, watching TV, reading, sometimes even doing the same homework that I already had copies of from other classes at other schools. This day, however, since I didn't have any homework due for two weeks, I went up to my room, cranked up Nine Inch Nails on my iPod as loud as my ears could handle, and laid down on top of my bed.

I guess when you're in love your focus is entirely on that person. Everybody else be damned. It was quite humorous, really. My entire eighteen years of life I'd been surrounded by love. I saw the love my grandparents, Carlisle and Esme, and my aunts and uncles, Alice and Jasper and Rosalie and Emmett, had for each other. And then there were my parents. I was pretty sure no other couple in existence had the sickeningly sweet, gag reflex-inducing type of love they had. Even in school, I'd wander the halls, watching the coupled teenaged humans express their love, holding hands, sneaking kisses when the teachers weren't looking, even the occasional improper grope. Yet I'd never felt that way about anyone before. I couldn't even recall ever having the slightest crush on a boy. I'd always just felt empty, like I had lost something that had once been very important to me, and it had created this constant ache in the center of my chest since the day I was born. As far as we knew, there was no one else on the planet that was like me – half human, half vampire. Who was I supposed to love anyway? My only real choice would be another vampire, and all of the other vegetarian vampires we knew already had someone. And I definitely wasn't going to date a human feeder. Maybe I just wasn't made for love.

My stomach growled, so I got up and went into the kitchen to grab a snack. While I preferred to hunt, I could survive solely on human food if I had to, and there were a few foods that I actually enjoyed. I guess the one positive thing about my peculiarity was that I had the option, and this made it much easier for me to live and blend in with humans than it was for my family.

I pulled out a box of blueberry Pop-Tarts and ripped open the cellophane bag just as my parents walked into the kitchen, the first of my family to return from their afternoon rendezvous. They were all giggly and gross, hanging all over each other. I often wondered if they even knew I existed when they were like this.

My father sighed and tore his eyes away from my mother. "Of course we know you exist, Renesmee. Why would you wonder such things?"

I shrugged and bit into my Pop-Tart, and my mother walked over and pulled me into a hug. "I'm sorry you had such a rotten day, sweetie."

I couldn't help but snicker. "Yeah, well, it's not like I'm not used to them."

I broke out of my mother's hug and hopped up onto the counter, kicking the cabinets underneath me with the heels of my shoes.

She looked up at me sadly, but then a sudden gleam of excitement came through her eyes. "Well, at least you get some time away from school. Any plans yet for your 'vacation'?" she asked, making little air quotes with her fingers.

"Well, I've been thinking about that, and I really want to go visit Grandpa Charlie."

"Out of the question, Renesmee. You know that," my father said, completely dismissing my idea without a second thought.

I kept my mind blank and took a deep breath. He wasn't going to like what I had to say next at all. "Except that it wasn't a question, Dad. I wasn't asking. I've decided I'm going."

There it was. I'd done it now. I had just defied my father.

"You can't go to Forks, Renesmee. There are…things," he said through breaths that I think were meant to try to calm himself.

"Yes, Dad, I know there are things. You always say that. There are _things_ …there are _people_ …there are _wolves_. But none of those things know me, and I refuse to be punished anymore for whatever vampire laws the rest of you broke before I even existed!" My voice rose as my frustration grew.

"Renesmee, it is not safe. I cannot and will not allow it! End. Of. Discussion."

I had managed to keep my mind clear up to that point, but his complete refusal to consider anything I had to say left me infuriated, and I slipped. _In that case then, I guess it's a good thing for me that I'm eighteen and a legal adult, and I no longer need to ask for your permission to do anything._

And with that, I had just declared war with my father, and he fired back with a roar that surely must have sent every living creature in our immediate surroundings running for their lives.

"Really? Is this what we're doing now, Renesmee? You're going to act like a petulant child having a temper tantrum until you get what you want? You put us all at risk today! Carlisle had to make up lies so Mr. Robarts wasn't suspicious of your strength. And now you want to put yourself and your family at even greater risk by going back there? No! Absolutely not! If you want to see Charlie, fine, we'll invite him here, but you will not, under any condition, be going to Forks!" he commanded, slamming his fist against the counter and creating a long crack in the marble.

In a rage that I had never felt in my entire existence, I hopped down from my perch on the counter and raced to the back door of the house. "If that's what you think, then you just watch me," I hissed, slamming the door so hard behind me that the windows in the kitchen shattered from the impact, adding even more damage to Esme's once pristine kitchen.

I made it all the way across the backyard before I collapsed on the side of the hill that overlooked the Appalachian forest behind our home. My body was shaking in anger, frustration, and sadness. I had never had a fight like that with any of my family members before. I felt like something had just been irreparably broken between my father and I, and it was as much my fault as it was his. Our innate stubbornness might have finally just gotten the best of us. Yet, I still felt like he was wrong, and I wouldn't take back anything I had said to him.

Finally, after I'd been stewing in my completely emo emotions for a few minutes, my mother came up from behind and sat down next to me. "Renesmee, what's wrong? Please tell me what's been bothering you so much lately?"

Knowing that words would fail me at that moment, I took her hand and showed her the image of the very first time I had seen Grandpa Charlie, not long after I had been born. He was young. He was happy. Even as a human, he looked as if he could take down the world if he had to. He was my hero. Then I showed her the image of the last time I had seen him, just a little over a year ago when he had come to visit us. His hair had thinned out on the top, and he'd lost most of the familiar curls that I had inherited from him. White hairs streaked his side burns, and the wrinkles around his eyes were more prominent. He moved more slowly, and I could hear the slight creaking of his body as he did. I let go of her hand but kept my gaze toward the trees.

"Oh, sweetie, I know. I worry about him, too," Bella said, reaching back for my hand.

"I don't understand. No one in Forks even knew about me. What's so dangerous about me going back for a few days? It's been eighteen years! By now, most people would barely remember the Cullens. And we wouldn't even have to say anything about that. We could just say I'm Grandpa Charlie's long lost niece."

Grandpa Charlie had never questioned the "uniqueness" of our family. My father said he wondered things to himself and knew Bella was different, but he never asked why. After I was born and Bella was changed, we'd quickly moved out of Forks, and Carlisle told him that Bella had come down with some rare jungle disease on their honeymoon and that I was adopted. Grandpa Charlie never really believed any of it, and you didn't have to be a mind reader to know it; but he never questioned what he was told and worked on a need-to-know basis when it came to us. But even though he knew where we were, Grandpa Charlie didn't tell a soul. Not even his closest friends knew of my existence or where we had gone. He still held the secret with him now. My father said Grandpa Charlie's fear that he would lose us was so great that he would do and believe anything we told him if it meant keeping Bella and I in his life. I'd always felt guilty about that, and many times I had wanted to tell him he would never lose us, that we would be the ones to lose him, but I always kept that thought to myself.

My mother sighed and joined me in staring out into the trees. "It's been a long time since Forks. I hadn't even thought much about it. I can't really remember a lot of my human life anymore, but I know there were a couple of people I should have handled things differently with. I can't just show up in their lives now and pretend like nothing happened, but if it weren't for Charlie being so…Charlie, I would have nothing of my human life. I don't want you to regret anything, Renesmee. Our lives are much too long for regrets. If you feel like you need to go to Forks, whether it's to visit your grandpa or to find yourself, then you go, Renesmee. I'll fully support you, and so will your father, eventually."

I looked over at my mother who was fighting back invisible tears and curled into her side, wrapping my arms tightly around her. "Thank you, Momma."

"Just promise me one thing, Renesmee, please. Whatever you do, don't go onto the reservation."


End file.
